Love Yourself (Personal)

There's nothing wrong with being happily single. Valentine's Day seems to make so many people sad because they think they must be in a relationship to be happy. That isn't true. If you're in a wonderful, loving relationship that makes you feel good, then that's great.

But if you're happy with your own company, if you like spending time with your friends and by yourself, you may not miss having a significant other. Don't let a fake holiday make you miserable. It is better to be alone than in a bad relationship.

So many of my girl friends and even guy friends think that if they aren't in a couple then some how they failed. They constantly jump from one bad relationship to another because they're afraid to be alone or they think to be happy they must be in a relationship. This just isn't true.

It's not that I'm against romance or coupledom.

I'm against feeling miserable because I don't measure up to the Jones. No one should be made to feel less because they are romantically unattached. If you're happy as you are, be happy.

If you're not happy, figure out why you're miserable, and take steps to fix it.

Finding any random person who'll be your 'date' or boy/girl friend just so you have a body to attach yourself to is idiotic. If you find the right person, yes, it can make your life even sweeter. But most don't wait for that, they grab onto anyone who shows up and then complain the person isn't what they want.

Everyone seems to have this fantasy that there is a soul mate out there waiting for them. For some people, this might be true. But for others, it's not.

Not everyone finds their soul mate and that is okay. You can be blissfully happy just being alone. You can be happy being out with your friends.

If you really feel your life would be enhanced by sharing yourself with another person in a romantic relationship, then look for that person. Take your time. Find the RIGHT person, not just any person who'll say yes.

I'll tell you this, if you're broken or miserable, a relationship will not fix that.

You have to fix the broken parts of you first, THEN find someone.

Otherwise those broken edges will just scrape you both raw.

Work on you. Work on being happy. Make some new friends, get out, develop hobbies. Live your life. Give yourself the permission not date for awhile.

Don't worry about Valentine's Day and it's over reaching expectations.

Because when you're satisfied, happy, and keeping yourself open to possibilities, good things find you.

And if you want to date then do it from that position of knowing you are enough by yourself. If your a complete,content person who finds someone who make their life even sweeter, then go for it.

Love works when you are secure in yourself.

Then if the person isn't the right person, then you'll be confident enough to let them go on their way and not settle for 'Mr./Miss Right Now.

Love starts with loving yourself.

Finish Your Book Already!

Do you know what keeps seventy-five percent of all aspiring authors off the bookstore shelves?

It’s not getting an agent, putting together a killer query, or even writing a bestseller. What keeps them off the shelves is quitting before their book is finished. I’m no different from those writers. I’m insecure about my talent. I’m a bit lazy at times.

I like the idea of publishing my book but the work involved is daunting. First, you have to have the idea, then develop it, write a minimum of sixty thousand words on it. When you finish all of that, you get to start editing and then edit again.

I don’t think anyone ever finishes editing, they merely stop.

Writers get frustrated, I get frustrated. This is why most people quit before finishing Chapter 7 of their rough draft.

Go on, admit it, you have a half-written novel either in your desk drawer or on your computer right this minute, don’t you?

I thought so.

Don’t feel bad, I have two.

Those two novels starts were mostly dry runs where I tried to figure out what I wanted, what I wanted to write, who I was as a writer. Mostly, they were crap. But…if I spent the time to finish and edit them, they might be publishable.

I dropped the ball and that is completely my fault.

My current novel attempt, Plum Crazy, benefited from my failures. I have a better idea of what I want and expect from my book. I’m clear on the general plot including start, major climaxes, and ending but I left a lot of room for improvising. I like to improvise and you have to go with what works for you.

Recently, I’ve doubted my idea, my writing, my voice, basically everything about this book. I stopped writing. Not because the book was bad but because I let my own insecurities strangle my creativity. I let me get in the way of me.

I’m forcing myself to write the next chapter even though I think it’s horrid. Sometimes, I’m convinced that a three year old monkey with a typewriter writes better prose than me but I’m putting the ink on paper. Why? Because you can edit almost any piece of crap into a readable story if you have patience and a dab of talent.

But you can’t edit blank pages.

So if you want to be published, your first and most important task is a simple one. Just finish your darn book.

And while you’re at it, could you write the next chapter of mine?

Thanks!

Tirz
*Also published under my collaborative blog, Journeys in Ink.