There's nothing wrong with being happily single. Valentine's Day seems to make so many people sad because they think they must be in a relationship to be happy. That isn't true. If you're in a wonderful, loving relationship that makes you feel good, then that's great.
But if you're happy with your own company, if you like spending time with your friends and by yourself, you may not miss having a significant other. Don't let a fake holiday make you miserable. It is better to be alone than in a bad relationship.
So many of my girl friends and even guy friends think that if they aren't in a couple then some how they failed. They constantly jump from one bad relationship to another because they're afraid to be alone or they think to be happy they must be in a relationship. This just isn't true.
It's not that I'm against romance or coupledom.
I'm against feeling miserable because I don't measure up to the Jones. No one should be made to feel less because they are romantically unattached. If you're happy as you are, be happy.
If you're not happy, figure out why you're miserable, and take steps to fix it.
Finding any random person who'll be your 'date' or boy/girl friend just so you have a body to attach yourself to is idiotic. If you find the right person, yes, it can make your life even sweeter. But most don't wait for that, they grab onto anyone who shows up and then complain the person isn't what they want.
Everyone seems to have this fantasy that there is a soul mate out there waiting for them. For some people, this might be true. But for others, it's not.
Not everyone finds their soul mate and that is okay. You can be blissfully happy just being alone. You can be happy being out with your friends.
If you really feel your life would be enhanced by sharing yourself with another person in a romantic relationship, then look for that person. Take your time. Find the RIGHT person, not just any person who'll say yes.
I'll tell you this, if you're broken or miserable, a relationship will not fix that.
You have to fix the broken parts of you first, THEN find someone.
Otherwise those broken edges will just scrape you both raw.
Work on you. Work on being happy. Make some new friends, get out, develop hobbies. Live your life. Give yourself the permission not date for awhile.
Don't worry about Valentine's Day and it's over reaching expectations.
Because when you're satisfied, happy, and keeping yourself open to possibilities, good things find you.
And if you want to date then do it from that position of knowing you are enough by yourself. If your a complete,content person who finds someone who make their life even sweeter, then go for it.
Love works when you are secure in yourself.
Then if the person isn't the right person, then you'll be confident enough to let them go on their way and not settle for 'Mr./Miss Right Now.
Love starts with loving yourself.
I agree. Difficult to love others if you don't love yourself.
ReplyDeleteann
Seems like we were on the same page today in our posts! ;) Always a pleasure and HAPPY VALENTINES' DAY! lol
ReplyDeleteSpot on Tirzah. I'm lucky enough to be really happy in my relationship. But there have been times in my life that just being on my own - growing, being with myself has been perfect.
ReplyDeleteIt took me years to get there, but I like and love myself now.
Also, may I say that the main people that benefit from the farce that is Valentines Day are the shops. They sure make a buck or two, by emotionally blackmailing most of the population to buy useless stuff just to conform to the social pressure.
Have a bought my partner a card? Nope. Has he bought me one? Nope. And you know what? That's GROOVY because he knows I love him and I know he loves me. Who needs a silly bit of card or flipsy flopsy flowers to 'prove' something that we already know.
If you are single, and reading this, I say EMBRACE IT. You get to do what you want and be entirely selfish! If Valentines Day still bothers you, then go out and buy yourself a "I love me" present instead.
I totally agree. If you've found the person that makes you wonderfully happy terrific, but I've seen many people just grab the first obtainable man/woman they can because surely it's better than being alone. My closest friends give me grief all the time, that i need to find a girl to settle down with, (because I can't possibly be happy alone)
ReplyDeleteThere's a lot to be said for defining your own terms.
Well said, Tirz. No sense in pinning my happiness on someone else, when I don't have a clue what makes me happy anyway.
ReplyDeleteAs I get older, I'm seeing so many women who 'settle' for one reason or another. I think many of us women fear being alone more than anything else.
Love this post, bunny. True, wise words.
ReplyDeleteCorra
from the desk of a writer
Those who can love themselves and be comfortable alone are the strong ones in this world. Like you say, attaching ourselves to the first person who comes along is a sure sign of desperation.
ReplyDeleteIt's better to be alone and searching than to have to meet other people's unrealistic expectations.