I Am Not A Unique Snowflake

Yes, I'm quoting 'Fight Club' but that line spoke to me during that film.

Some films are entertaining, some are exciting, other just make me feel good. But on a rare occassion, I get a film that makes me think.

In one section of the film, the nameless soldiers are digging in the 'garden'. Tyler Durbin's voice is repeating, "You are not a unique snowflake. You are not special."

And yes, you could take that in a negative way but for me it was a relief. If I am not special, if I am not a unique snowflake, then I can relax. I can just be ordinary me.

Because a person who has great abilities, who is unique, also has great responsibilities. If you are gifted, you obligated to develop those gifts for the betterment of yourself and those that follow you.

If you are ordinary, you can sit the game out or follow at your leisure.

To be special, you live your whole life expecting more. Expecting your 'unique snowflakeness' to be acknowledged.

But if your ordinary, things are not always going to go your way. You will not get to go to the front of the line. Sometimes other people will win.

That's okay.

Take a deep breath with me. It is truly okay not to be extraordinary.

It is okay just to be you.

So many parents I know have raised their kids with the idea that they are the best, the most wonderful, the most unique snowflake in the world. While I applaud their efforts to build self-esteem, this attitude doesn't do their kids any favors.

I think some kids feel that they have to be perfect. That they have to be that unique snowflake in all it's spiral glory.

That's a lot of pressure.

What happens when the world doesn't agree that they are the most gifted or the most wonderful? What happens if they don't get a trophy like everyone else?

They fall apart.

What one should know is that being an 'ordinary snowflake' is acceptable. That learning to see your flaws and your abilities together makes you a stronger person. That drive is almost as important as talent.

Working for something, striving for something beyond your scope is admirable. You might just stretch far enough to get to your goal. And even if you don't reach it, look at what you learned on the journey.

Being ordinary is not a terrible thing.

Many ordinary people have done extraordinary things because they weren't afraid to fail.

I am not a unique snowflake. But even an ordinary snowflake is a wonderous thing to behold.

Tirz

Writing With Passion

One of the keys to good writing is to write with passion. Passion is a gift. It makes readers follow your words and look for your name. So many people now write from the head and not the heart.

To get readers attention, you have to hook their attention.

In the cyncial world of now, people roll around in their apathy like a dog in crap and most of them are happy to be there. They don't care, they aren't happy, they aren't sad. The buggers aren't even angry. If you can't get sad or mad then you need to lower the dose because the meds are working too well.

It's okay to feel what you feel.

It's okay to rant and laugh and scream a bit.

It's okay to care.

When you care, your writing has bite. And that's what a reader wants. They want to be interested. They want to care or laugh. Hell, they even want to be mad enough to call you an asshole. Writing should inspire something in your reader.

The writing might make them think about their life, it might make them giggle hysterically. Perhaps it makes them throw the book across the room and yell 'idiot' at the book cover.

A book with passion will always inspire something.

The worst thing you can do as a writer is write something that only inspires apathy.

How do you make your writing passionate?

Choose topics that hit your hot buttons. You know what your hot buttons are. Maybe it's the teacher at school who refuses to follow your child's IEP. Perhaps it's the chick in the drive-thru that consistantly gives you the wrong order. Maybe it's the humor in every situation that excites you.

Have a logical argument about health reform? Be passionate and clear and I'll listen. Because passion is addictive. When you care as a writer, the reader starts to care as well.

But remember how I said passion is one key to good writing? The other key is editing. Write with your heart, edit with your head. Write your article or blog, let your heart spill itself all over the page. Then set it aside for a couple of hours.

Take a walk. Play with the dog. Cook dinner.

Then come back to your article and read it again. Use your brain to build in facts to back your argument. Make sure you're being passionate but not doing a mindless rant. Okay, a mindless rant can be fun sometime, just make sure your idea isn't lost in the energy.

If you can join fact with passion, then everyone will want to read what you write.

Now if I could just follow my own advice.

;-)

Tirz

Food Isn't Just Food

Food isn't just food to me. It should be but it isn't. Food issues start when you associate something beyond nutrition to what you're eating. So many people try to sell me on the value of being a vegetarian and they're never going to win that argument with me.

They're arguing with logic and reason and health. That won't work against the emotional need my meat and junk food fulfill for me.

And no, I don't have anything against being a vegetarian. Several of my good friends are Veggie or Vegan. It's just not for me.

Part of it is that I really like meat. It's my favorite part of any meal.

Second, is that meat was a huge part of my childhood. And yes, even I have a few fond memories of that time period. Meat designated your place in the hierarchy of my family.

My Dad got first pick of the carnal treasure. The biggest piece, the best piece, my Dad got the option of seconds. He was on the only one that could eat two pieces of meat without my Mother having a mini-seizure.

Next, were any of the other adult males in the house. Sometimes the Old Man (my father) would bring work hands up to the house for lunch. All the kids hated to see a trail of work hands heading toward the house, that meant less for us.

All the guest females were served next.

Then all the rest of the women and children.

As a kid, by the time I got to eat almost everything was cold and only the less perfect pieces of meat were left. The charcoal burger, the darker pork-chop, a goose neck. On some days, there wasn't any beef, pork, or chicken left when it was my turn to eat. Instead, I got soup beans (pinto beans) cooked in pork fat.

I like soup beans but part of me, that child part of me, still thinks that getting the good cut of meat means I'm valued, that I'm important. That I'm not waiting to be last anymore. Meat makes me feel like I'm successful.

And it tastes really, really good. Better than anything else on the table. I'd rather have a meat than dessert.

Yes, I know, I know that messed up in the head. I didn't say I was normal...lol.

Besides, I grew up in a meat culture. Everything had a meat or animal by product contained in it. The beans, both soup and green beans, had meat products in included. Fried potatoes were cooked in bacon fat. Biscuits baked in bacon fat...by the way, this makes the biscuits crunchy on the outside and super soft and warm inside. Those things were heaven...I haven't had one in about five years. I still dream about them.

I can honestly say that it is impossible to be a vegetarian and eat at my mother's house.

But if meat is acceptance to me, potato chips are comfort. Whenever I'm stressed or upset, I want potato chips, usually Grippos. My mother could be...difficult on her best days and a nightmare on her worst.

The thing with my mother is that she hated for you fight back. If you fought her, she'd escalate. So I learned early to go limp and still, just like they tell you when a bear attacks. You curl up and hope you don't get clawed to badly.

But swallowing your anger, your words, your needs will make you crazy inside. When my mother made me crazy, I ate potato chips. Handfuls, bagfuls...I needed them. If my mouth was full I could cuss or scream or tell the truth because to do those things would paint a big red bull's eye on my forehead.

And as unhappy as I was, I wasn't sure I wanted to die. So I stuffed all my feelings down my throat in salty little potato chips.

Mt. Dew is my other addiction. Although I've switched to Diet, I still love that stuff. When you're afraid to sleep, it'll keep you up. When you've cried for hours, curled in a ball in the dark, it's wonderfully sweet to your sore throat.

So when people try to sell me on the health benefits of water, steamed veggies, and rice by telling me it's good for me, they've already lost the argument. Food for me isn't just food. It's meaning.

And yeah, I know, I know...I'm going to spend a long time in therapy one day.

Until then, happy eating.

Tirz

Movie Maker: The Good, The Bad, & the Ugly

If you can't get the embedded video to work, you can watch it on Yahoo Videos at CLICK HERE.

My Sample Video Above:

And no, I don't really want to write a book to make money. Few new writers make a living selling their books. The narration just fit the stock pictures I had available. And I thought the story made the video a bit funny.

Why did I make this bad video?

I've been seeing a lot of press lately about book trailers. A book trailer is a little video that is basically a 'sales' or 'marketing' video to build interest in your book. Most of them are created on products like Movie Maker.

You upload the video or pictures, then add effects and narration.

With practice and a little cash, you get something cool to load up to YouTube to make strangers want to look at your book. Or do something free like I did and hope for the best...lol.

I've never played with Movie Maker before. I'm not very technology oriented, what can I say? However I am stubborn as hell and that helps with technology.

So I started screwing around with Movie Maker. MM is supposed to be one of the easiest movie making programs on the market. And you know what? It wasn't that hard to do.

I struggled a bit getting the narration and music to play at the same time because I didn't understand that those items list separately but play together. It took a bit of tweaking to get the narration and music to line up together. I still don't quite have that right.

I'm still trying out different effects. I'm pretty sure I can do better with my timing and effects on the next go around.

Overall, I had a blast doing this.

Is my video ready for YouTube? No way.

But by the time my book is finished next year, I should be good enough with Movie Maker to make a few little trailers to push traffic. With more and more publishers pushing for writers to do their own marketing or additional marketing, I can't afford not to pay attention to book trailers.

I'm also now wondering if I should do some live readings for my poetry book coming out this summer? It's a thought. YouTube has changed the world, now hasn't it? Remember when writers got published and the publishing company did 80% of the marketing? Those days are gone.

If you want to be a success in the modern publishing world, you have to sell yourself and your book on your own.

So today, I've loaded my amateur attempt at making a video to this blog but I'm also going to link a few good book trailers from YouTube so you can see what it should look like. I don't want you to think my goofy practice video to be what a real book trailer is.

My video is just to show how easy it is. If I can do, you can do it.

And if you're great with technology or more stubborn than me, I'm betting you can do something fabulous for your book.

Good Book Trailers (Click the Links Below):

The Duma Key

Love Stargirl

So you have a video to show me?


Movie Maker
Ease of Use: 4 out of 5
Time: 3 out of 5
Technical Ability Needed: 2 out of 5

Tirz

When Everyone Succeeds But You...

Lately, I've been surrounded by success. Not mine. Several of my writer friends have recently published, several others have gotten agents. Another few have finished their manuscripts.

I'm happy for them. They've worked hard and their books are really good. As happy as I am for them, part of me feels like a big fluffy failure each time another one of them succeeds. Now this isn't their problem, it's all mine.

I know it's petty. It isn't their fault that I haven't made it, it's mine.

I'm not focused enough on my writing. I break my self-imposed deadlines. I don't submit material much any more and that's why I'm failing.

You can't succeed if you aren't trying your hardest and I'm not trying hard enough.

I've made some half-hearted efforts with my writing. I sent out a few short stories to contests, all rejected. I sent forty-eight poetry submissions last year, all rejected.

Finally I stopped sending writing out. It's hard to believe in yourself when the editors in charge don't agree with your writing's worth. I'm not a horrid writer, I know that. Am I Steinbeck? No, but I'm not Carrot Top either (Okay, he's not a writer but he is odd in a creepy way and not funny at all).

But what I write doesn't seem to impress editors, contest judges, or anyone in charge.

I'm not telling you this to feel sorry for me. I'm doing a great job of that on my own. I'm sharing the experience so other writers know they aren't alone.

It's okay to feel a little lost when everyone seems to have figured out the how's of publishing and you can't even find your pen.

What I need to do is get some impartial person to tell me if there is a weakness in the writing itself. If the writing is solid, I need to target my entries better. Sending submissions out in a scattershot format doesn't work. All I get from random entries is a headache.

Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I need to get off my butt and make a plan. Then, I actually need to follow said plan.

And if that doesn't work, I can always trying sleeping my way to the top.

Men love middle-aged chubby women, right? Right.

Okay, so I need to work hard on the plan because I don't think the sex for success idea will work. Not unless publishers are kinkier than I think.

LOL.

Tirz

Cartoons by ME!

My cartoons...drawn by me...lol.

And this is as good as it gets so I won't see myself hanging on the gallery walls anytime soon. But I enjoy it.


I love using this one as an avatar.


Admit it, the monkey is funny. LOL.



I like wolves. And this one is a sly one.

Drawing for me is a fun thing to do. I'm not great at it. You notice I hide the hands of my characters. I can't draw hands. I figured why not post my little drawings up occassionally.

I doubt this will come up but if you want to use one of the drawings, go ahead and do it but give me credit for the art, okay?

And this one is for Jacqui....

Stop Writing Passively

If you're like me, you have a tendency to drift into passive voice without even really meaning to.

The lovely 'to be' verbs show up unexpectedly like your Cousin Dennis after you've won the lottery. Unexpected and unwanted. Only they won't steal your lawnmower. Instead, they steal excitement from your writing.

What do I mean by 'to be'?

Example: I was thinking about going to the party. It would have been a great time, I know it. I was going to wear my green party dress.

This whole statement is in passive voice. Verbs such as was, is, would have can remove the action from your story. But don’t get out your red pen yet.

Not all passive voice is bad. So you shouldn’t remove it willy-nilly.

In things like dialogue, passive voice usually is the way to go. People normally speak in passive voice, not active. However, if you’re not doing dialogue, you need to watch out for the tricky ‘to be’s’.

Corrected Example: I thought about going to the party and wearing my green party dress.

See how the corrected version is more immediate? Now if only there really was a party. But then again, the only party dress I have is a 1980's puffy cocktail dress from some forgotten high school prom.

I'd be sparkin' hot in that.

What was that, a passive verb?

Ack! They're everywhere.

How can you see how much passive voice you're using?

You could reply on a fellow writer to review your novel for you. But for some reason, not every writer wants to read 80,000 words of a rough draft. I can't understand why. And not every writer is great at spotting passive voice. Writers like myself.

So instead, you should try a fun website like Aztekera.

You can paste sections of your novel into Aztekera, click on the check button and get both a percentage of 'to be' verbs and a listing of the individual lines.

Now, Aztekera won't tell you which passive sentences you should keep, if any. It's not your mother. It won't make you chicken soup when you're sick either.

But it will give a quick way to see if you're writing actively or passively.
Don't be a Passive Patsy!

Check out Aztekera

~ Tirzah