Sunday, May 16, 2010

To the Idiot Driving...


Dear Idiot,

I thank you so much for trying to kill me on I-71N. I appreciate you a ramming your car into the 12 inch space behind me and then proceeding to ride my bumper.

I really liked it when you laid on the horn.
Mmm... I'm going 70MPH in the 65 lane. If you want to go 120 miles an a hour, become a cop and get a siren.

First, you are definitely a teen driving your Mom's Prism. Most men won't buy a Prism and the air-freshener dangling from the rear view mirror clued me in. It's a smiling kitty. Mmm...screams Mom or baby sister.

Since you are driving someone else's car with someone else's insurance paid by someone else's money, could you try not to be stupid?

Second, this interstate has two lanes of traffic going north. Guess what? The left hand lane, the fast passing lane is EMPTY. Go for it. Try not to kill yourself or better yet me.

Third, it's 75 sticky degrees out, why the hell are you wearing a wool cap on your head? Is your head cold? The Dum-Dum sucker in your mouth sort of summed up my opinion of the situation.

I wouldn't know any of this about you if you weren't trying to drive in my backseat.

Fourth, although I know you must be having an emergency (or why else would you drive so fast and recklessly) but did you know taking the exit ramp with the hard right turn in it at 75 miles an hour is idiotic. Maybe you don't need all four tires since two of yours were in the air for part of that turn.

Oh and thanks for giving me the finger and not killing me.

Say hi to your mom for me and tell her to keep your dumb ass off the road.

Tirz

7 comments:

  1. What a jackass! Now, how do we find where he lives and send this to him?

    ann

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  2. Honestly, you know his mother would beat his bottom for that stupidity.

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  3. And people wonder why I never wanted to learn to drive. A narrow escape by the sounds of it, glad you weren't badly hurt.

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  4. Very funny, but sad.

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  5. Yikes! Hope that wasn't me behind you!

    :P

    - Corra

    from the desk of a historical writer

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  6. A little late reading this but I needed a laugh. Thanks for sharing. Although I'm sure you weren't laughing when the twerp was in your backseat ; ). Cat

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  7. A little late reading this but I needed a laugh. Thanks for sharing. Although, I'm sure you weren't laughing when the twerp was in your backseat! Cat

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