Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Buddy the Dog and Petfinder.Com

In the next few weeks, I will be loading up posters of REAL dogs who were shelter/rescue dogs who have been adopted. These posters are to increase awareness of the great dogs and puppies waiting to be adopted at your local shelter.

If you have room on your page or blog, please post one of these posters to help support PetFinder at the website. Petfinder helps unwanted dogs find their forever homes with loving families.

Buddy, the dog on this week's poster, is a Chow Chow/Golden Retriever/Shepard mix. When he was a puppy at a rural animal shelter, he was slated to be put down because he had been there for over two months.

No one wanted a Chow Chow mix because they were afraid of the breed's reputation. On his last day, a larger rescue organization agreed to take many of the puppies that were scheduled to be euthanized.

Only no one would agree to foster Buddy. At ten months old, he was larger and much more hairy than the other puppies. Plus, he was a Chow Chow mix.

At the last minute, a woman who had recently lost her dog and who never fostered before volunteered to take Buddy for a few weeks. This saved his life. The woman and her grown children fell in love with Buddy and he has never left their home.

He is the dog in the neighborhood that everyone wishes was their dog. He's sweet, he likes to dress up in clothes, he loves toys, and he never jumps on people. Buddy even lets the kids in the neighborhood hug him and feed him Popsicles.

Someone gave Buddy a chance at a real home. Can't you do the same for another shelter dog?

Sunday, May 16, 2010

To the Idiot Driving...

Dear Idiot,

I thank you so much for trying to kill me on I-71N. I appreciate you a ramming your car into the 12 inch space behind me and then proceeding to ride my bumper.

I really liked it when you laid on the horn.
Mmm... I'm going 70MPH in the 65 lane. If you want to go 120 miles an a hour, become a cop and get a siren.

First, you are definitely a teen driving your Mom's Prism. Most men won't buy a Prism and the air-freshener dangling from the rear view mirror clued me in. It's a smiling kitty. Mmm...screams Mom or baby sister.

Since you are driving someone else's car with someone else's insurance paid by someone else's money, could you try not to be stupid?

Second, this interstate has two lanes of traffic going north. Guess what? The left hand lane, the fast passing lane is EMPTY. Go for it. Try not to kill yourself or better yet me.

Third, it's 75 sticky degrees out, why the hell are you wearing a wool cap on your head? Is your head cold? The Dum-Dum sucker in your mouth sort of summed up my opinion of the situation.

I wouldn't know any of this about you if you weren't trying to drive in my backseat.

Fourth, although I know you must be having an emergency (or why else would you drive so fast and recklessly) but did you know taking the exit ramp with the hard right turn in it at 75 miles an hour is idiotic. Maybe you don't need all four tires since two of yours were in the air for part of that turn.

Oh and thanks for giving me the finger and not killing me.

Say hi to your mom for me and tell her to keep your dumb ass off the road.


Whiny Ass Girl

Am I going mad, you think?

My head is full of my own voice telling me how worthless I am, how stupid I am, how weak I am. I just want the noise to stop but when it stops, the empty silence is almost worse. A judging silence. It's like I'm not talking but the tape is still playing on silent.

I don't hate myself all the time anymore. There are weeks, months when I'm fairly satisfied with who I am. Other times, I fantasize about driving my car into the concrete dividers on the interstate. Really, how much more could that hurt than the pain of those nights when my skull is cracking from the pressure of my thoughts?

There are days I don't think of dying. I think of being beaten, black and blue and purple. I feel so much guilt. It's like I'm being drowned with water from the inside. I'm so heavy, so suffocated. So wrong. I just want to not feel so bad. If someone hit me, really hit me then it let the air out of me. If I clawed my skin, beat my head into the floor until it turned red, if I threw myself in traffic, the pain would make it all stop for a minute. I want that minute.

And I would feel so relieved to be punished for my failures.

Do you know what it is to fail and fail and fail and to know that others see you failing, hate you for failing, feel sorry for you failing but never punish or help you? Never. I'm drowning in my primordial mess.

I'm so tired.
I'm so, so tired.

And I'd welcome a little peace from myself.

I'm so tired but sleep never helps.

And maybe my voice will stop yelling at me and maybe the silence in my head won't be so bad this time.

And maybe tomorrow will be better.

I don't really have much faith in maybe.

Sunday, May 9, 2010


I'm sitting here in a living room that would disgust a drunken frat boy and I can't bring myself to clean. I know it would probably be easier if I cleaned a bit each day instead of letting it become a trash dump but blah, who wants to clean every day?

Not me.

I've always been a slob. I'm not proud of it.

I leave my shoes in the floor. I never hang my clothes up. I open a box and leave the box in the living room floor for six months.

That's me.

What I'm hoping for is a happy medium between prissy cleanliness and a place the health department would condemn.

Perhaps I can tie sponges to the dog?

I figure there is more hope for the dog learning to scrub the floor than me winning the lottery and hiring 30 maids to come in each week to shovel a path for me.

Why can't cleaning be fun?

Or just quick?


Friday, May 7, 2010


I'm in a funk.

I'm not angry, I'm not sad, I'm not happy.

I'm just disinterested.

I keep thinking I'll wake up and today will be a better day but it isn't.

I know this feeling won't last forever but it doesn't make my life any happier. Then I feel guilty because I can't get out this mood. I hate being such a whiny hateful creature.

Why can't I find the good? My life isn't horrible but I just want to run away from my life and disappear into nothing.