I realized my blog has been too serious lately. I need to spice it up with a little humor. So I decided to add 10 weird facts about me. I hope you laugh, I hope you smile, I hope you know me a bit better.
What I really hope is you tell me one weird fact about you in return...lol. I need a laugh myself.
1) I don't eat anything with loaf in the title. No telling what's ground up in it. It gives me a easy-queasy feeling in my stomach. I feel the same way about the word marinate (shudder). Why do you need soak for your food before cooking it? Do you not have teeth? And don't use the J word. I don't want juicy meat.
2) I hate to be hugged. Honest, it's not you. You don't smell bad. I just feel suffocated when people hug me. Please don't. I'm not being coy. I'm not leading you on. I don't like it. If you do it, I will stand perfectly still until your done so I won't be tempted to knee you in your sexual organs and have you arrested for harassment. I really hate being hugged. Oh and I don't cuddle either.
3) I will not date any guy who doesn't have an open mind toward duct tape. Enough said. However since I gave up dating for chocolate, I think it's a non-issue.
4) I don't drink alcohol in any form or amount. Not because I care about alcohol, it's because I'm a control freak. I hate the idea of not knowing what I'm doing. Besides once you've hosed someone off while they sit crying on the lawn in their underwear...it doesn't seem that cool. But what do I know, if I were a rock star maybe I'd like it. Dunno.
5) I've convinced my mother that I have a tattoo on my butt that says "I Live To Serve". Now whether this tattoo exists is between me and my butt.
6) I don't buy gallon or liter containers of drinks because once it's been opened and been out overnight, I can't bring myself to drink it. Even if I know I'm the only one home and that I put it in the fridge, I can't drink it. It's been opened and left unguarded. Yeah, I know I'm nuts. You knew I had food issues, hence the weird foodie blogs.
7) I can read an entire book 800 page book in one night. But I'm so tired the next day, I can't discuss it. I own hundreds of books and one puny bookshelf. I should probably buy a few more. I finally threw out the dishes and put books in the kitchen cabinets. I'm not kidding. Ask any one of the four people who have been to my house. Every drawer, cabinet, and closet is full of books.
8) I'm a horrible housekeeper. I'm okay with it. Just kick the stuff out of your way and sit on any empty pizza box. But then again, no one comes to my house. If you do drop by and get the urge to clean, don't. I get all jeebed out when people clean in front of me, especially when it's my house. I know, I know...more therapy.
9) If I didn't pluck and shave my eyebrows, I'd just have one big black arch like McDonalds...only I don't serve anyone anything so don't ask for breakfast. I blame my mother, it's her throwback cave person genes at work.
10) I always eat chocolate bunnies by eating them feet first so the rabbit suffers. I hack off the feet, the hands, the little bunny tail. Then last...I bite off their heads. If you do the head first, the bunny can't hear itself scream. I love chocolate...lol.
*Bonus Weirdness: I've always liked really short guys. I use to have a thing for Cheech Marin. Okay laugh at me, you know you want to. I like Vin Diesel too but he had a few too many muscles.
I'm a supertastically weird. I know it. You know it.
Let your Freak Flag fly! Embrace your weirdness.
Tirz
