Thursday, February 4, 2010

Unused Book Titles (Humor)

Several of my writer friends have claimed there are no good titles left for their novels. So being the good friend that I am, I created this list of unused titles. I assure no one is using these novel titles.

Feel free to borrow one for your book.

Wild Rumba Bunnies
Enemas For El Salvador
A Different Flavor of Asshole

Letters to My Second Husband: Don't Screw This Up Like the First Guy
A Boob of A Different Color
Love Crunchies

God Called Me Stupid
A Knife In My Eye: Ouch
Big, Fat, and Fired

Naked to the Cankles: A Fat Girl's Need For Love
Stabbing Your Mother 149 Times: Ways to Deal With the Holidays
Drinking Piss: A Story of Survival in My Own Backyard

I Love You For Your Brain: A Zombie Love Story
Your Baby's Ugly: And Other Truths about Motherhood

Toe Suckers Anonymous
Murder in the Missionary Position
Forked Tongues and Big Tails: A Guide to Being a Devil Chick

Praying for the Bomb
Prayers to Elvis' Banana
Love Letters To W.: A Tale of Political Enlightenment

A Gynecologists Guide to Finger Licking Foods
Tongue-Kissing The Dog and Other Bad Habits
Rich, Well-Hung, And Happy: Hollywood Lies

Plaid Panty Lines
Nippled: The Trap of Breast Feeding
While the Maid Vacuumed

And if you entitle your book any of these, I'll give you a dollar (Swear on my Elvis Bible).


  1. Funny titles Tirzah. How about "Do you Bounce: A guide to supportive underwear" :)

  2. Drinking Piss: A Story of Survival in My Own Backyard

    Ya know, that'd work in Australia ... Piss being slang for alcohol.

    So a night on the piss, and sucking down some piss isn't quite as bad as it sounds down under. LOL.

  3. Forked Tongues and Big Tails: A Guide to Being a Devil Chick

    If you don't mind, this will be the title of my next book. Thanks, Tirz. Funny funny blog.


  4. Some also work if you run them together (and adjust punctuation)
    Wild Rumba Bunnies'
    Enemas For El Salvador;
    A Different Flavor of Asshole

  5. "Wild Rumba Bunnies." That's the shit.

    Tirz, I can think of nature tango dancing buns all day.

    I've been watching The Situation Room a lot and swallowing loads of Tropical Berry Minute Maid because of my fucked up foot. It's nice to know I can come onto the computer and see book titles, authors regret not thinking of when publishing their award winning novels.

    I think many of the ones you came up would be great for the SELF HELP section for most libraries.


  6. These are wonderful and please, if anybody uses one of your titles, I will sign up to preorder and anxiously await publication (I may even pay $15 for the ebook!) LoL

  7. LOL - great list! Thanks for sharing. :)


    from the desk of a writer

  8. Lol - I loved them! And I love your wit...Always a pleasure -

  9. I Think I Just May Steal: I Love You For Your Brain: A Zombie Love Story...Like You Weren't Expecting That...

  10. Could I use "A Knife in my eye: Ouch" as a name of a chapter in my book?

  11. Use what you want, bunny.


  12. I Love You For Your Brain: A Zombie Love Story

    My life story!

  13. Can I use "A Gynecologists Guide to Finger Licking Foods" for a short story? I'm serious as a heart-attack!

  14. you rock . Especially loved the blog about the library section on self help. Thanks for making me laugh tonite.

  15. lol your names are hilarious

  16. Help.. I need something really catchy for my memoir. Basic summery: Toronto girl with a messed up child hood ,works in film, plays in the rock n' roll sceene. Moves to LA for 8 years gets sick of the sceene leaves everthing and moves to Italy for 7 years. Works for the sinking cruise line (Costa) while traveling around the world. So from my baby crib located in the boiler room of my grandmother's basement to 3 day parties on tour buses and working on 20th century fox lot to teaching english to crew members onboard cruise ships. Hmmm... the sinking of my life. Under my fucking tuscan sun. From groupie to teacher 101. Wow..your site is great..haha! Very therapuetic!