The challenge is to write a 200 word or less flash story starting with the 'door swung open'.
I did my best in a hurry and with a head cold. :) Next week I'll read it and wince. I'm pretty sure I screwed up the verb tenses but Nyquil is not my friend.
Link to Rach Writes
Tirz
Door Swung Open
The door swung open and I gaped at my ex in all his naked glory bending my mother over the back of my floral couch.
"Mom! That's my new couch."
I'll never get the stench of their humping off of it. Microfiber can only do so much. I couldn't stop a groan of pain. Brand fuckin' new.
Mom's tits bounce as Larry plows into her from behind again, she's grunting, rubbing her sweaty nudity on my couch.
Oh no she didn't. Before I knew it, I was pounding Larry's head, shoulders and bare ass with my purse.
"My. Fucking. New. COUCH! Asshole!"
He jerks back, popping free of mom's cellulite dimpled ass, & falling to the floor. I smack mom once for good measure.
"Ouch," Mom yips as she looks over her shoulder with an 'oh crap' look on her face.
Larry was crawling to his knees, I kick him in the balls.
He screams and scrambles for the open doorway. Mom's wailing.
Larry stumbles naked onto my walkway. I grab Mom by her perm and shove her after him.
"My fucking couch!"
Then I kick the door. It swung shut behind them.
Excellent color and characterization, Tirzah--and I'm glad the MC kicked Larry where he deserved it! (You're going to love Blogger's word verification for this post; it's "flogru.")
ReplyDeleteI'm so doped on NyQuil I wasn't sure how bad it is but I figure tomorrow is another day.
ReplyDelete:)
Tirz
You made me almost shoot water out of my nose ;)
ReplyDeleteGood then it's close to working. :) Snorting is good.
ReplyDelete:)
Larry's a name for grandpa's or carny ride operators. Good riddance, I say. Shame about the couch.
ReplyDeleteFellow Writer's Platform campaign member just stopping by to say hi. Like your blog!
Stobby
I feel sorry for her sofa! :P
ReplyDeleteYeah--pity about the sofa. :)
ReplyDeleteYeah Larry---I didn't want my readers to be overly attached to him----like you would a good sofa.
:)
You have my vote! That is so funny, and my condolences to you and your couch. Mine is #72
ReplyDeleteIt's funny that the MC's major concern in all of this is the COUCH!
ReplyDeleteI have been so sick but I am hoping to finish getting to the entries this week.
ReplyDelete:)
Tirz
Brilliant focus on the couch. Loved it.
ReplyDeleteYou made me laugh and blush at the same time. Larry must have been a useless gentlemen indeed if he ranked below the upholstery. Great job!
ReplyDeleteso funny
ReplyDeleteTotally unexpected. I like how much she valued her new microfiber couch. LOL! Good entry!
ReplyDeleteWell men, mothers and sex are so replaceable...but a good microfiber couch....hahahaha priceless.
ReplyDelete...okay, I think that's the most disturbing one I've read so far...
ReplyDeleteTwisted and...one of the most dramatic I've read so far!
ReplyDeleteMy entry is #279
Poor couch! Love how you slammed us right into the scene. Oh wait, that's a poor choice of words. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI also stopped by to say Hi from your Women's Fiction/Chick Lit group. I look forward to connecting!
Wow, you don't mince your words, do you! Quick, get the fabric shampoo to that couch now! Yuk! Great piece, I loved it.
ReplyDeleteHi from a fellow Humor Campaigner :) Mine is #347.