Friday, January 22, 2010

Books I Wish Someone Would Write..

It's humor day again. Here is a reprint of my list with some add-on's for my Books I Wish Someone Would Write list. I hope you laugh.

Dieting Causes Hemroids: Eat More to Save Your Ass--So it's not true, I wish it was.

You're Mother Called: An Excuse Book for Drinking

Better Lies Than The One You Told--for all those times you get caught with your pants down.

Love Letters to Nixon: Why some family members can't be trusted

I Peed On It, It's Mine- Possession is 9/10ths the dogs.

How to Eat Vegetarians: A Cookbook--Okay, it's wrong but it's funny.

Letters to My Second Husband---Although I am not married, my sisters have married repeatedly. I wish someone would write a book to their second husband (while still married to the first), giving him advice and suggestions on how not to make the same mistakes as the 1st. This works particularly well if the writer is currently married to Hubby 1 because it's fresh in her mind and she can give 'examples'.
--It could be helpful and funny.

I would love to gift this to everyone divorced woman and badly married woman I know.

The Ugly Girl's Guide to Dating and Sex Honestly, why isn't this on the shelf now?
Learn all about dim lighting and angles.

101 Things To Do With Hair When your Bored

101 Things to Do with your Boobs When Your Bored

When the Bitch Leaves: A Man's Guide to Surviving Divorce and the loss of his Dog--I would have loved to gift this to my brother on his 3rd divorce from his first wife.

Unhappily Ever After: Making a Bad Marriage Work--So many people I know are in bad marriages and don't want to leave their bad marriages. Therapy isn't working. So what about a funny book on tips on living with the person you hate.

An Alcoholic's Guide to the Holidays

Life Advice From Your Dog---if it itches, scratch it. If it smacks you in the nose, avoid it.

Lazy Girl's Guide to Cleaning Her Hovel

The Beauty of'I Don't: Reasons to Love Being Single

The Devil Made Me Do It: Dumbest Excuses Ever

Who is HItler?: History for the Uninformed--So many people don't even know basic history t his would be a fun picture book with blurbs about the 'must knows'. It could be very tongue in cheek.

Lies Someone Has Told You That your hair looks good shaped like a mushroom cloud. White spandex bicycle shorts are cute on chubby women over 40. That comb-over is HAUT!

Places I've Been Naked --Lovely picture book of odd locations including the bathroom stall of that Subway resturant out off of Route 71.

Assholes and other People You Love: A Guide to Dealing With Impossible People

Saying Those Three Little Words: Please Leave Now---You thought I was going to say 'I love you'...silly you.


  1. I didn't think you were going to say 'I love you.' I didn't. Really.


  2. Or how about "How to tell anyone they have B.O." (body odour) or "How to Scratch Discreetly in Public" or "10 ways to know if it was really the dog that farted". These are the books we need to read!

  3. "You're Mother Called: An Excuse Book for getting stoned"

    "If it has my fur on it, it's mine - life from a cat's perspective"

    "How to claim and keep the warmest spot in the house"

    and one I need ....

    "1001 ways to avoid going to the alcoholic mother-in-law's house every week for a half raw dinner"

    Will someone please write the last one for me? Guaranteed you'll get a few sales ;)

  4. Made me laugh! Right out loud, with no one to hear! If you write any of these, I'm buying. . .

  5. As recognition for your excellent blogging, I have included your blog in my list of "10 blogs I like" here: If you wish to participate, simply list 10 things that make you happy and pass on the award to 10 other blogs (or vlogs) that you like. Thanks for making the world a brighter place. Namaste.

  6. I needed this little laugh! Great list - I'd invest in a couple of those!
    :) Ang

  7. Why aren't YOU writing these? :)


    from the desk of a writer