Friday, January 22, 2010
Books I Wish Someone Would Write..
It's humor day again. Here is a reprint of my list with some add-on's for my Books I Wish Someone Would Write list. I hope you laugh.
Dieting Causes Hemroids: Eat More to Save Your Ass--So it's not true, I wish it was.
You're Mother Called: An Excuse Book for Drinking
Better Lies Than The One You Told--for all those times you get caught with your pants down.
Love Letters to Nixon: Why some family members can't be trusted
I Peed On It, It's Mine- Possession is 9/10ths the dogs.
How to Eat Vegetarians: A Cookbook--Okay, it's wrong but it's funny.
Letters to My Second Husband---Although I am not married, my sisters have married repeatedly. I wish someone would write a book to their second husband (while still married to the first), giving him advice and suggestions on how not to make the same mistakes as the 1st. This works particularly well if the writer is currently married to Hubby 1 because it's fresh in her mind and she can give 'examples'.
--It could be helpful and funny.
I would love to gift this to everyone divorced woman and badly married woman I know.
The Ugly Girl's Guide to Dating and Sex Honestly, why isn't this on the shelf now?
Learn all about dim lighting and angles.
101 Things To Do With Hair When your Bored
101 Things to Do with your Boobs When Your Bored
When the Bitch Leaves: A Man's Guide to Surviving Divorce and the loss of his Dog--I would have loved to gift this to my brother on his 3rd divorce from his first wife.
Unhappily Ever After: Making a Bad Marriage Work--So many people I know are in bad marriages and don't want to leave their bad marriages. Therapy isn't working. So what about a funny book on tips on living with the person you hate.
An Alcoholic's Guide to the Holidays
Life Advice From Your Dog---if it itches, scratch it. If it smacks you in the nose, avoid it.
Lazy Girl's Guide to Cleaning Her Hovel
The Beauty of'I Don't: Reasons to Love Being Single
The Devil Made Me Do It: Dumbest Excuses Ever
Who is HItler?: History for the Uninformed--So many people don't even know basic history anymore...so t his would be a fun picture book with blurbs about the 'must knows'. It could be very tongue in cheek.
Lies Someone Has Told You That your hair looks good shaped like a mushroom cloud. White spandex bicycle shorts are cute on chubby women over 40. That comb-over is HAUT!
Places I've Been Naked --Lovely picture book of odd locations including the bathroom stall of that Subway resturant out off of Route 71.
Assholes and other People You Love: A Guide to Dealing With Impossible People
Saying Those Three Little Words: Please Leave Now---You thought I was going to say 'I love you'...silly you.