Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Ten Weird Facts About Me

I realized my blog has been too serious lately. I need to spice it up with a little humor. So I decided to add 10 weird facts about me. I hope you laugh, I hope you smile, I hope you know me a bit better.

What I really hope is you tell me one weird fact about you in I need a laugh myself.

1) I don't eat anything with loaf in the title. No telling what's ground up in it. It gives me a easy-queasy feeling in my stomach. I feel the same way about the word marinate (shudder). Why do you need soak for your food before cooking it? Do you not have teeth? And don't use the J word. I don't want juicy meat.

2) I hate to be hugged. Honest, it's not you. You don't smell bad. I just feel suffocated when people hug me. Please don't. I'm not being coy. I'm not leading you on. I don't like it. If you do it, I will stand perfectly still until your done so I won't be tempted to knee you in your sexual organs and have you arrested for harassment. I really hate being hugged. Oh and I don't cuddle either.

3) I will not date any guy who doesn't have an open mind toward duct tape. Enough said. However since I gave up dating for chocolate, I think it's a non-issue.

4) I don't drink alcohol in any form or amount. Not because I care about alcohol, it's because I'm a control freak. I hate the idea of not knowing what I'm doing. Besides once you've hosed someone off while they sit crying on the lawn in their doesn't seem that cool. But what do I know, if I were a rock star maybe I'd like it. Dunno.

5) I've convinced my mother that I have a tattoo on my butt that says "I Live To Serve". Now whether this tattoo exists is between me and my butt.

6) I don't buy gallon or liter containers of drinks because once it's been opened and been out overnight, I can't bring myself to drink it. Even if I know I'm the only one home and that I put it in the fridge, I can't drink it. It's been opened and left unguarded. Yeah, I know I'm nuts. You knew I had food issues, hence the weird foodie blogs.

7) I can read an entire book 800 page book in one night. But I'm so tired the next day, I can't discuss it. I own hundreds of books and one puny bookshelf. I should probably buy a few more. I finally threw out the dishes and put books in the kitchen cabinets. I'm not kidding. Ask any one of the four people who have been to my house. Every drawer, cabinet, and closet is full of books.

8) I'm a horrible housekeeper. I'm okay with it. Just kick the stuff out of your way and sit on any empty pizza box. But then again, no one comes to my house. If you do drop by and get the urge to clean, don't. I get all jeebed out when people clean in front of me, especially when it's my house. I know, I know...more therapy.

9) If I didn't pluck and shave my eyebrows, I'd just have one big black arch like McDonalds...only I don't serve anyone anything so don't ask for breakfast. I blame my mother, it's her throwback cave person genes at work.

10) I always eat chocolate bunnies by eating them feet first so the rabbit suffers. I hack off the feet, the hands, the little bunny tail. Then last...I bite off their heads. If you do the head first, the bunny can't hear itself scream. I love

*Bonus Weirdness: I've always liked really short guys. I use to have a thing for Cheech Marin. Okay laugh at me, you know you want to. I like Vin Diesel too but he had a few too many muscles.
I'm a supertastically weird. I know it. You know it.

Let your Freak Flag fly! Embrace your weirdness.



  1. Ha! Laugh Out Loud! (Spelled out due to the certainty of the laugh!)

    #10 - What???

    #4 - Ditto (Though I'm not a control freak; I just can't imagine all that vomiting is healthy. It's clearly poison if you're walking funny.)

    #2 - I'm still your opposite! I love hugs - even from strangers. It never bothers me. I got in my sister's husband's lap the same day I met him. Sans alcohol! :D

    #1 - I don't eat loaf's period. Bread is disgusting.

    My quirk? I'm terrified of nooks and crannies - like the ones in English muffins. Terrified. My brother used to call me drunk in the middle of the night and croon out, 'Nooks and crannies are coming to get you!' in a really bad British accent. He still doesn't understnad it's the actually nook and/or cranny that offends me - not the word.

    Word verification - untinha...


  2. #1 I'm American and I hate sports

    #2 I'm a woman and I hate to shop

    #3 I live in Las Vegas and I don't gamble

    #4 I'm a woman and I don't like gossip or drama



  3. Tirz, I don't think you're weird at all - just funny.

    I don't like to be hugged either. All the psychotic women at work LOVE to hug. I tell them not to touch me.

    What's weird about me? Nothing. My retirement plan consists of a Blair Witch poster and a Hillary Clinton nutcracker to sell on eBay in about one hundred years, but that's not weird, right?

    And FYI, Richard just fixed my website so you can now follow me. The fact that you want to is weird.

  4. Oh gawd - you sure got food issues :)

    Erm, erm, I don't know what's weird about me.

    I love hugs. Have to say that.

    Erm, trying to think.

    I don't like shopping for clothes.
    I often put my jumpers on inside out. Does it really matter?
    I like smelling dogs. And I like the smell of dank basements.
    I smell my daughter and my boyfriend when I hug them.
    I don't like men who wear those big creepy hats - I used to have nightmares about a 'shadow man'.
    Erm, I eat raw runner beans and love 'em.
    Oh yeah, I get real pleasure out of telling really bad jokes that I know people won't find funny - this really tickles me :)

    Thanks for sharing, lol.

  5. Funny, Tirzah. Thanks for sharing. I feel like crap today so it was good timing.

    I can relate to a few of those (won't say which ones lol) And here's in addition to that:

    I love the smell of skunks.


    Have a good one!

  6. Mission accomplished - I laughed though I must admit that I felt ever so slightly concerned about your admission re the chocolate rabbit.

  7. #1) I only eat things with 'loaf' in the title. If all the ingredients don't come mushed and in a ball, I can't eat it. I want it too look like it would in my stomach.

    2) Ah, that sad, let me give you a hug.

    4) With you on the alcohol thing. I value my mind so much, nothing is allowed to mess with it. Well, except coffee.

    8) Um, yeah. Were writers. We have whole other worlds going on in our head...who has time for the toilet bowl.

    Great blog. Group hug.


  8. I tried to leave a comment earlier, but I don't think it ever appeared. I'm not weird at all. I never had a banana split until I was about 50, but that's not weird. I quote Eric Cartman, but that's not weird. My retirement plan is selling my Blair Witch Poster and Hillary Clinton nutcracker on eBay. I truly believe jalapeno flavored Cheetos might be the cure for everything from impotence to terminal stupidity. Move along, people. Nothing weird to see here.

    Your weirdness is extremely funny and it's interesting that I also hate being hugged.

    You can follow me now I think. I put Richard to work last night and he did some website adjustments.

    Upper right-hand corner.

  9. Well I feel like a pitiful excuse for a human being because I've been sitting here watching my cursor blink for twenty minutes and could not come up with even one fun, quirky, clever weird thing about myself.

    I am a boring person with absolutely noting interesting to share with you.

    I live vicariously through my characters...

    WAIT!? I can't even do that right. To date, I've never fondled a cadaver or molested a German Shepherd, and I have no desire to sell my ass on a street corner in order to find myself.

    Perhaps I'll start sniffing my own farts in private or making soup with my naval lint, but in the meantime...

    I got nothin'.


  10. Great post! I've got too many things to share, but I'll give you one of my darkest quirks,

    I have never recovered from Hostess discontinuing their Blueberry fruit pies. (I also think that Booberry cereal is unjustly treated.)

  11. Hah, I'm gratified in tricking Kat to show up at my blog twice in one day.

    Jeni is normal...well Jeni someone had to be normal, sorry it was

    I hope today has been full of laughs and giggles and water spurting out of your nose.

    If not, wasn't my fault. I tried to make those things happen.

    Now I don't hve to buy you gifts for your birthday.


    Corra---I've never seen a cranny I liked.

    Brent---I like Frankenberry but don't know why when I don't as a rule like things that our pink or strawberry flavored. One for the weird side.



  12. Greta--you're strange. I like that. Skunks?

    Jacqui--Aine---I hate to shop but I hate laundry more. Why wash underwear when the Dollar sells four to a pack. And trey sexy They have Tinkerbells on them.

  13. Petty--Glad you giggled. But you owe me one weird fact...unless like Jeni you claim you're normal. Two in one day? Impossible.

  14. OMG, you people all need therapy! LMAO Loafs, nooks and crannies, hugging, Leporidae torture...? Bunny, how short is short? You need to specify. Is 5'-6" too tall?

    I'm a white, catholic, republican, cigar-smoking, heavy metal listening, white collar, whiskey drinking, Italian from New Jersey that occasionally writes poetry. Yes, I'm a freak. :-)

  15. Now Wigs, 5 foot 6 is the top end of my

    I'm non-religious, non-political, musically stunted (although I do like Pink and The Eagles), Mt. Dew drinking, hillbilly that loves to write poetry.

    I am perfectly normal...sort of.


  16. OK I am giggling. a lot.

    Weird fact for me - I am frightened of snails. No idea why. I can't squish one and will cross a garden path to avoid them.