Saturday, October 1, 2011

My dirty little confessions...

It's that time of year where I force you to get to know me better. Yes, I know, I know you are so afraid. But my little pretties, it's too late to run.

You know you are fascinated. It's like four car pile up in front of your domicile. You must watch.

So I decided to reward your bravery...I'm telling you some embarrassing little secrets. I suppose they wouldn't be secrets if I had more friends but that's life. :)

First as a female, I'm pretty sure I'm breaking some sort of estrogen law by admitting this. Well here it goes, I like...Star Trek. Yep. I like New Generations, original Star Trek, then Voyager then Deep Space Nine. Yep, I know enough about the series to rate them. And no, I have not learned Klingon but I thought about it.

Second attack on my estrogen card...I broke up with a guy many years ago because he kept buying flowers. They make my eyes itch and my nose twitch. I asked politely for him not to send them. He informed me that all girls like flowers. Bye, bye dumbass.


Third I like orange. My living room is painted orange. I've been told it's like stepping inside a pumpkin. That's good, right?

Next, I hate clothes shopping. I hate it so much that I'd wear any gift you send me including a floral sequined prom dress a size too small, just so I don't have to go to the store. Well if the gift is clean. Sorry I don't wear the smell of moth balls or kitty urine. I do have standards. They are low but they are standards.

Okay fifth confession, I like romance novels. Yep bodice rippers, shifter love, alpha males. Not those meaningful tragic love tales, I mean romance novels. Love happily ever after and hot bodies.

Sixth, I have a weakness for werewolves and shifters. I like a bit of the animal in my man. It's so 13th century of me but that's the truth. I also like books about Weres and shifters.

Seventh... I hate elves. I don't want to see elves, read about elves, talk about the positives of elves. Hobbits are big hairy elves. Enough said! Oh and don't even ask me about angels (shudder).

Mmm...I've flashed my mother and mooned her to stop a conversation I didn't want to have. She stops, stunned. It's the only thing that works. Yes, yes I know. That is so wrong but dammit it works.

Nine--I'm an excellent kidsitter. I don't say babysitter because I don't watch newborns. Kids between the ages of three to 12 really like me. It could because I know dozens of games to play and I genuinely like them. Or it could be as my sister says and I'm juvenile. Either way.

Ten...I'm a slob. Like a teenage boy slob. Books in kitchen cabinets, clothes all over the floor, couch full of empty bags. Yep a slob.

Okay bunnies...there is more but I think I've punished you enough.

Do you know me better now? Are you very, very afraid? LOL.


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